Conservative Canadians: Myth or Legend? The Gay Marriage Debate

Ottawa, Canada - Citizens were stunned recently when they realized that there are conservative Christians in Canada. Political trends have generally veered to the left in this decentralized, anti-authoritarian democracy but, recently, groups of hitherto-unknown right-wing Evangelicals & Catholics have organized rallies and prayer vigils against the 'godless' 2005 Gay Marriage bill.

According to one amazed British Columbian, "This is astounding! Conservative Christians? In Canada? But we've had socialized medicine and legalized marijuana for years! Eh?"

According to Charles McVety, leader of several evangelical Canadian groups, religious conservatives in Canada have several specific goals:

• eliminating all birth control options, including 'pulling out',
  
• banning abortion except for cases when the daughter of a prominent political leader is knocked up,
  
• construction of dozens of new federal and state prisons,
• filling said prisons with drug offenders snared under tough new anti-drug laws.

Even the faithful have been surprised by the fact that religious conservatives comprise a tangible voting bloc in public polls. "Ever since 1988, when the anti-abortion bill failed, I didn't think there were any god-fearing voters left. If we can be successful in rescinding this law, just think of what we can accomplish!"