"Black Friday" Holiday Traditions

Americans are not the most tradition-bound people. I think that's why we tend to go overboard celebrating the traditions that survive. Whether it's the increasing number of tryptophan-induced comas or the Santa displays now visible from space, we are often guilty of 'trying too hard'. And so, we here At the Tap find it necessary to publish a list of 'Don'ts' for another popular holiday tradition - shopping on Black Friday.

Without further ado:
10. For the record, ‘shopping’ on Black Friday refers to clothes, electronics, etc. Not grocery shopping.
9. Although a definite time-saver, a urine bottle is not an appropriate accessory. 8. As a corollary to the rule above, when lavatories and restroom facilities are offered, they are intended as the only spaces for certain bodily functions. Potted plants, secluded corners and circular racks of clothing are strictly off-limits.
7. Mall regulations frequently restrict or prohibit the use of Segways within or between shops. Check before you go.
6. The same goes for motorcycles, mopeds and ATVs. Only more so.
5. Despite the popularity of the traditional song, even on Black Friday a shave and a haircut isn't 'two bits'.
4. If a fellow shopper describes a sale as being 'to die for', it isn't an invitation and it really isn’t meant to be taken literally.
3. Borrowing your 81-year old disabled grandmother’s Olds to snag a good parking spot is just plain wrong.
2. Resorting to armed robbery to get that 'must have' Christmas gift is inappropriate, even if it IS a Playstation 3.
1. And (from America's retailers) - don't take a shopping list, just take two carts.