Revealed: President Bush Commits Treason!

Washington DC: In a fast-breaking scandal sure to shake the capital to its very foundations, the administration admitted today that former president George W. Bush has in the pay of the Kremlin for at least the last six years.

George Bush, who abdicated the Presidency and fled the country in a Soviet-era Tupolev transport, denied the allegations.

"We're not sure when he was turned by the Reds", said a shaken Dick Cheney today, "It may have occurred at a fund raiser during his first run for the Texas governorship. On the other hand, a Natasha could have gotten to him during his hedonistic nose candy college days."

President Cheney continued, "My God, how could we have been so blind?"

"All that we know for sure is that his handler, Karl Rovovich, has been carefully guiding him throughout his presidency. In retrospect, it should have been obvious: since taking the Oval Office, Bush has taken every conceivable opportunity to destroy America's moral authority, military reputation and economic might."

"It will take decades to recover from this presidency."