Christmas Just Ain't What It Used To Be

Savanna, GA: Across the nation, America's parents are wondering what has happened to the Christmas spirit. The traditional holiday pleasures of peace, reflection and joyous reunion with family and friends have dissipated amidst the stress of planning gatherings, competition for the year's hot toys, tension at family gatherings and extra workload and overtime.

One southern resident Nancy Bell said with a brittle smile, "Well, I can hardly afford Christmas so I've been working double shifts on Saturdays since the weekend before Thanksgiving. I've not seen my husband more than two nights a week in months, but it'll all be worth it when we get to see Tom & Jenny's faces on Christmas morning!"

A bystander chimed in, "Yeah, it's so hard to know what to get. And when your kids' friends' parents are dropping a grand for presents, you kind of feel obligated to keep up, ya know?"

When 100 random people at areas malls were asked what their most treasured Christmas memories were, the most popular responses were: decorating the Christmas tree, a first kiss under mistletoe, visiting with cousins, and playing cards in front of the tree.

In addition, 14 of the respondents used foul language and knocked down the pollsters as they shouldered by.

"I've been working my butt off to just be able to afford the holiday debt. Isn't that the spirit of Christmas?"