Wal-Mart Names New Public Relations Consultant; Unions Cheer

Wal-Mart announced today that it has hired the ultimate Washington insider as its next head of public relations and government affairs. Unlike other recent moves, however, the recent hiring of Leslie Dach has won the corporation accolades from insiders as well as it traditional opponents, the unions.

Mr. Dach was a prominent Democratic operative who advised President Bill Clinton during the impeachment process.

When interviewed, John Sweeney, president of the AFL-CIO stated carefully "Well sir, we're aware what Mr. Dach accomplished in the past and we feel that Leslie is a man that we can work with."

Said Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee Scott Jr., "We have been so impressed with Les' outstanding work with PR firm Edelman that, when the position came open, we just knew we had to have him."

Edelman, a global PR firm, recently made headlines announcing a distinct preference for companies "that suck".

Mr. Scott went on to say that, "We're looking at other acquisitions as well. For example, we've been in close talks with Ken Lay's former legal team, since they've got some openings now, as well as the marketers behind Phillip Morris and the introduction of New Coke."

"With the talent that we're bringing together, we can't lose!"