They Call it Ge - No - Cide

Former Mexican president Louis Echeverria recently declared that he is innocent of genocide charges stemming from an alleged massacre of students in 1968. However, in a surprise ruling last week an appeals court sided with the prosecution and determined that there is enough evidence to charge the then-Interior Minister with genocide.

In other news, rumors abound that NAACP President Bruce Gorden and the Reverend Al Sharpton have met with ACLU representatives to consider charging then police chief Daryl Gates with genocide for the alleged 'shoot to kill' policies of the LA police force during the 1992 Rodney King riots.

Similar announcements have been made in recent weeks by the families of the 1970 Kent State shootings and leaders the Uzbekistan protest movement. Charles Manson has strongly denounced plans by the Tate family to level civil genocide suits again him and his followers. Former Chinese Premier Deng Xiopeng has also been sued by Yue Dongyue, one of the leaders of the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre for genocide against the Chinese people.

On the political front, House Republican leaders have charged fellow Democrats with attempted 'political genocide' as they plot to reassume control of both Houses of Congress in the fall. "We categorically reject this blatant and unseemly power grab [by the DNC]", said Speaker Dennis Hastert at a press conference today. "This is simply an attempt to disenfranchise our Republican constituency and we strongly oppose this, as well as other, Democratic machinations."

In consumer news, porn star Jenna Jameson (I Dream of Jenna, Please Cum Inside Me) has announced plans to begin filming her latest skin flick "Jenna-Cide 3: Lust against the Wall". She has described it as a "sexy romp through the countryside of Myanmar, Botswana and the 'urban jungle' of Watts".

The gaming world is eagerly anticipating EA's release of "Dictator 4", the latest incarnation of its popular nation-building sim. Said spokesman Jeff Brown, "This game will not only knock your socks off, but kick down the door and execute your entire family. This is genocide on a whole new level!"

Meanwhile, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Thursday expressed doubt the Holocaust took place and suggested the Jewish state of Israel be moved to Europe. His comments reflect widespread beliefs in the Arab world, as well as positions taken by a number of Western authors, speakers and ideologues.