If you've ever played an RPG, or even know people who have, you'll find the list 700 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG hilarious, if a little exhausintg. Some of of my favorites:
50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.
388. Pursue means 'chase after', not just make called shots to the knees.
400. Check the door means to listen at it, not put several rounds through it.
420. "For the King" is an example of a good battle cry. "Smoke the Mother" is not.
442. When told to be subtle, playing a foul mouthed chain smoking squirrel is not a good choice.
520. Under no circumstances is my medical droid allowed a groin mounted rectal thermometer.
544. I will not cast Gate to bind an infernal creature of power to my bidding and make him mow the lawn.
602. Find Familiar scrolls are not a substitute for the hunting skill.
610. I cannot name my character Dwead Piwate Woberts.
625. I must remember before the next time I shave off the sleeping dwarf's beard and glue it to the sleeping elf, wars have been started that way.
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