Senate Does the Right Thing; Nation Incredulous

Washington, DC: Sixty-two years ago, Congress voted to withhold veterans benefits from hundreds of thousands of Filipino soldiers who fought in World War II. The Senate voted overwhelmingly Thursday to restore those benefits. After the vote, several senators reportedly grew faint and had to sit down.

Across the nation, US citizens expressed shock and dismay. According to Peoria resident Judy Vimland, "Don't start trying to do the right thing, Senators. You haven't had enough practice."

While some rights groups celebrated news of the pension plan, other activist organizations were subdued, even depressed.

Said lobbyist Jack Arlington, who is advocating US adoption of the Kyoto Protocol, "History tells us that Congress does the right thing once every seven or eight years. We're probably looking at 2015 before we can get a carbon tax and emissions limits in place now."