CNN Headline News Bylines I Expect To See Any Day Now

...US Govt. reports entire tax base now consists of 13 teenagers in Decatur Walmart....

...OJ Simpson hijacks bus, robs passengers...

...Ipods now considered legal tender in continental United States...

...Russian President Medvedev promises reforms of Kremlin, political system...

...Premiere Putin snickers, apologizes, says he remembered funny joke he heard last week...

...OJ Simpson claims innocence in recent bus-jacking incident...

...Bush declares war on Iran, bunny rabbits as final actions as president...

...Hillary Clinton cruelly and with malice accuses Obama of 'inexperience'...

...Obama on record: Hillary Clinton strident, toothless hag...

...OJ Simpson apologizes to nation for 'errors in judgement'...