Ten Extremely Implausible 2007 Predictions

1. The federal government will default on debt when president Bush shifts revenues from a 'tax- and fee-based' system to a free-market 'ad-based' scheme.
2. The Social Security Administration restates its finances and announces sufficient funding for the foreseeable future. During an audit, the SSA discovers that back in the '80s, Harold in Accounting didn't carry a zero.
3. The Democrats, on the heels of the astonishing 2006 mid-term elections, will miraculously avoid self-destruction, coalescing around a single leader and message in a clear bid to re-take the White House.
4. Against all logic, the Iraqi insurgency will fail to collapse with the death of the deposed and powerless dictator Saddam Hussein.
5. 2007's biggest political scandal will involve octogenarian West Virginia senator Robert Byrd, Miss America 2006 Jennifer Berry, 14 pounds of butter and a cockfight.
6. In a stunning change of fortune, American automakers Ford and GM will once again produce vehicles that consumers want to buy, and at a price profitable for themselves.
7. In a "po-tay-to / po-tah-to" moment, Arab & Israeli negotiators will agree to a complete and permanent cessation of hostilities. Surprisingly, they are not immediately executed by the radical wings of their own governments.
8. Faced with a notable loss of interest, celebrity tabloids TMZ.com, the National Enquirer and the New York Daily News fold and shut down operations.
9. The weblog movement will explode in popularity as people realize that blogging truly is 'money for nothing'.
10. Future generations will identify 2007 as the 'Year that Humanity Grew Up'.