The Outsourcing Trend Accelerates

Outsourcing isn't just for corporate America anymore! Researchers report that this trend continues to accelerate, with millions of America's young adults and teens busily outsourcing their lives. From social networks like Facebook to FastDater to Tickle, there are a host of companies that cater to practical and ruthless efficiency.

According to recent studies, more than half of American teens use social networks extensively. "It's gr8!", according to MySpace member sweetteen_1987, "Now I can have hundreds of 'friends' without having to interact, speak to or even meet any of them!"

Researchers have also noted a dramatic membership drop in fraternal, veterans' and civic organizations. The average age of a Kiwanis member is now 51, with the average Mason topping 70. The news isn't all bad, however; other community groups such as homeowner and condo associations are expanding rapidly.

Combined with the recent growth of Internet relationships and 'speed dating', Internet shopping (including grocery delivery), and the growth of private gyms and fitness clubs, experts predict that all social interactions will be commoditized within five years. "It's a shame that my parents had to grow up so ... analog", said webmaster Jason Greer, "I can't imagine what it would be like to go out and actually meet strangers - absolutely no quality control at all!"