Saturday, September 23, 2006

Shocking New Evidence: Rome Burned, Nero Fiddled, People Danced!


Researchers at the American University of Rome announced shocking new archaelogical evidence: the discovery of a diary written by a young commoner during the reign of the Roman Emperor Nero.

Researchers are slowly translating the record; among the first excerpts to be released is the following, written during the Great Fire of Rome July 18th, 64:

There must have been thousands of people there. The emperor's playing was simply marvellous, and the burning Christian Quarter gave a lovely light. We danced for hours, finally retiring when the light of rosy-fingered Eos [dawn] replaced that of Vulcan!
According to historians, the early years of the millienium were extremely tempestuous. Rome was being colonized by immigrants whose faith and culture were hostile to society's norms. War was endemic, and the entire Roman military was committed to the field in many foreign nations. At home, the Empire was ruled by a deranged and fanatical dictator.

Historians expressed amazement that, under such conditions, commoners could dance while the upper class was destroying their way of life. "It goes to show that, despite the many similarities between modern and ancient societies," said lead researcher Chuck Davis, "some aspects of the Roman personality simply can't be understood today."

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