Pope Announces Catholicism 2.0: Open-Source Christianity

Vatican City, Italy - Pope Benedict XVI has accounced a startling new initiative he calls 'Catholicism 2.0'. In a statement released today, the Pope will "apply the guiding principles of Silicon Valley's 'open source' movement to reinvigorate the holy body of Christ, the Catholic Church. The goal is an open, welcoming and above all 'user-friendly' Christianity."

The document described several features of the new initiative, including:

• Open participation in Church rituals
  
• The Creative Commons Mass (TM)
• User-defined Church dogma

The Pope is seen as reacting to recent criticim that concepts like dogma are viewed as too inflexible and the Church is intransigent in the face of a changing society. It is hoped that opening up religious and lay orders to people of all lifestyles will encourage greater participation in Mass, while user-defined Church dogma (or UDCD in religious parlance) will bring back lapsed faithful.

American Catholics have responded enthusiastically to the change. According to Gloria Bogan, an Ann Arbor, MI resident, "I can't wait to get home to download the new Mass protocols and get cranking on an all-guitar Liturgy of the Word! This really brings the Church in line with the new millenium." Other plans include the Esperanto Mass, the 5-Minute Mass and TeleCommunion.