Do Dogs Dream of Vegetables & Grains?

I'd like to point out something wrong with this ad. I disagree with its main contention: this advertisement is not about dog food, nor does it treat with dogs.

Folks, I kept dogs for many years and I've been around them all my life and I happen to know that dogs would be much happier nosing into a big steaming pile of animal byproducts than they would "wholesome whole grains" or "garden veggies and fruit".

If your canine companion can't survive without designer pet food or customized nutritional supplements then what you have isn't a dog it's an accessory.

So, as a favor to us actual dog lovers out there please refrain from calling Fluffy or Mr. Pebbles by the name 'dog' in the future. Thank you.

The irony? This ad is actually from the back cover of the latest edition of National Geographic. The lead story is "Inside Animal Minds". Somehow I doubt that vegetable dog food will make the cut.

Thomas Barnett: The Pentagon's New Strategy For War and Peace

SCREW EUPHEMISM

I know I'm guilty. Guilty as any and more than most: after all, I teach people how to speak within euphemisms.

Generally, this doesn't bother me.

But tonight, I was watching the news and saw a modern mother describing her teen-age son (Ari, who seemed like a decent sort underneath it all) and his descent into alcoholism as 'a process'. And, of course, she was engaged in her own process of learning and exploration of his process.

Then, a nattering 'expert' appeared, telling me that it can be hard to distinguish 'normal teen-age exploration' from 'poor lifestyle choices'.

I have a problem with this.

No, actually I don't have a problem with this. Actually, I want to puke.

Yes, it literally makes me want to vomit.

I'm sorry, but 'fucking up your life' is 'fucking up your life', regardless of the words used to describe it. And maybe - just maybe - if somebody had told young Ari that he was fucking up his life a little bit earlier, he might have listened.

Or maybe not.

But sugar-coating things, divorcing reality from truth, doesn't help anybody. Certainly not Ari, who's busy making his poor lifestyle choices.

And the worst part is that I'm going to go to work on Monday, adjust my collar, and slide back into double-speak.

Am I talking about Ari? Or me? You make the call.