Do you ever...
- intend to innocently greet your child's attractive new schoolteacher and end up with a lawsuit?
- walk into your kitchen to do the dishes and end up making lasagna?
- find yourself buying a 'work at home' kit from a 'reputable online dealer'?
- suffer from spells, fits, tremors, lackadaisicalness or the vapors?
If so, you may have Autonomous Brain Disorder (ABD). Your brain is making decisions while your mind wanders. You're not alone: studies sponsored by the NOW Institute for Retributive Medicine indicate that over 95% of straight men have this condition.
But there is hope. Never fear - your days of lurking in dark corners with your hands clapped over your mouth are over! Doctor Synthia Starke of Berkeley has developed a pioneering new treatment that offers hope for the billions afflicted with this diease. Clinical trials are open currently!
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