What Would You Do If You Found a Woman Living In Your Closet

Yes. Living in your closet.

Where? Where else: Japan.

"Officers rushed to the house and found a 58-year-old unemployed woman hiding in an unused closet, where she had secreted a mattress and plastic drink bottles"

Well color me wtf???

Inflation Relief at Hand!

According to recent US government figures, inflation was only .2% in the month of April, and 'non-core' inflation (inflation minus those pesky food and energy bills) rose only .1% . Of course, food jumped a large .9%, which is the largest jump in 18 years.

According to a senior economist, “This is a fine inflation report if you don’t need to eat, drive or depend on your paycheck”.

Well, that's a relief. No need to worry folks, nothing to see here.

Have You Seen That New Romantic Comedy, "The Shining"?

It sure looks great!

Real Players Do It Passively

Check out PMOG (Passive Multiplayer Online Game).

Recipe:
-a dash of roleplaying
-a pinch of whimsy
-a touch of free time
-a lot of fun!

It's a game that you can play whenever you're online, regardless of what you're doing.

How does it work? By surfing the web, that's how!

You have to rack up points to buy mines and all the other stuff that makes the site fun. Every unique domain that you visit gives you two points, so you get points just from surfing the web. You can also give gifts of mines and other tools to others by leaving “crates” around...

Gathering points and completing missions leads you to higher levels, where you eventually choose a character type. There are six characters in all - two are “chaotic” and leave a lot of mines and portals. The rest follow the “torch of order” and focus on protecting others or creating useful missions.

One note - you do need to use the Firefox web browser (another great reason to switch).

Maybe It Would Be Quicker to List Things OLDER Than John McCain?

Visit www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com.

What are some things younger than John McCain?

• Alaska (as a state)
• The Polio Vaccine
• AARP
• Israel
• Spam

Yes, that's right. John McCain predates spam. It's actually a lot of fun, when you start playing!

Bob, Is That Your Hip Or Are You Happy To See Me?

Good Lord. According to an nytimes article, a new style of ceramic hip that came into vogue after 2003 is prone to squeaking.

How bad is it?

“It can interrupt sex when my wife starts laughing,” said one man, who discussed the matter on the condition that he not be named.

That's pretty bad.


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The Murderous Record of Cosmetics

According to a Science News article, multitasking while driving can be hazardous to your health. Apparently, the brain can only do so much, and even relatively minor distractions can divert 'mental muscle' away from the wheel.

According to the article:

This finding suggests that people who combine relatively automatic tasks, such as speech comprehension and car driving, exceed a biological limit on the amount of systematic brain activity they can accommodate at one time, the researchers propose. As a result, the less-ingrained skill — in this case, driving, which is learned long after a person grasps a native language — takes a neural hit.

Which leads me to my hypothesis: tank tops and makeup kits have caused more accidents than alcohol.

The Secret World of Penguins

Digital Aphorisms

Aphorisms, adages, chestnuts and maxims: this is the verbal shorthand that allows us to communicate feelings and ideas in a few pithy words.

I was talking to a teen last week and told her to 'make hay while the sun was shining'; in return I got a 'what the hell?' look. After recalibrating for age and experience, I told her that you have to "sell out when your app is hot" and got an 'ahhh' of understanding.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

I hereby submit the following starter list of digital aphorisms for those wishing to communicate with the younger generation:

• People with public Facebook profiles shouldn't post under the same name at www.XXXhardcore dating.com.
• A single hacked terminal can infect the network.
• A bad coder always blames his programming language.
• A committed Bidder is worth two Watchers.
• Caught between a 404 error and a gateway timeout
• A watched modem never connects