Yes, But I'm SAVING 30%!

Check out this article from the New York Times. Apparently now that the global economy is melting down, a six-figure fashion spree like Palin's is considered...gauche.

Nope, now the word of the day is 'recessionista':  someone who splurges ... less ... on fashionable clothing and accessories.

Style.com described the recessinista as "a plucky heroine able to fixate on designer logos even at a time when her house might face foreclosure". [Emphasis mine.]

Sorry honey: I don't care how stylish you are, sleeping in an Accord ain't glamorous.

Why, back in my day we didn't have all this 'gangs and guns' nonsense!  We didn't have drive-by shootings; we had drive by masses!

And we still had to walk uphill in the snow - both ways.  Harrrumph.

Thanks National Geographic.

Seriously, I Just Read It For The Articles

Ok, so I had a doctor's appointment today (nothing major; annual checkup). And as I'm on the road, I mentally put together a blog post about whether a waiting room with decent magazines (such as National Geographic, The Economist and Atlantic Monthly) existed.

Then I get there and find copies of National Geographic, Fortune and US News & World Report sitting on a side table.  

What's worse is that I ended up picking up a copy of Better Homes and Gardens because I'm thinking of putting in a copper backsplash in my kitchen.

*splack*

That's the sound of someone smacking their forehead with the palm of their hand.

An Olie and Lena Joke

For their 50th wedding anniversary, Lena gave Olie a hammer.

"What's this for?" asked Olie.

Lena replied, "Fifty years of bad sex."

Olie gave Lena her present. Unwrapping it, Lena found a frying pan.

"What's this for? asked Lena.

"Knowing the difference", said Olie.

Want more Olie and Lena jokes? Check out my new site Olie and Lena Jokes - a new joke every day!

This Is What Happens When You Pay the TSA Minimum Wage

As in all things, you get what you pay for:

"As a screener at Newark Liberty International Airport, Pythias Brown was supposed to keep deadly objects off airplanes. But for the past year, authorities allege, Brown has been swiping electronic equipment from luggage of the passengers he was supposed to protect..."

With a name like "Pythias", I'm surprised he didn't see this coming.  (PS - I'll Paypal anyone who gets the irony in that joke five bucks.)

Oh, and do you know what TSA stands for?

Thousands,

Stealing

Assets

Does That Mean 'A Woman's Place' Is Barefoot and Pregnant in the Oval Office?

From a NYTimes story on Sarah Palin:

“They bear us children, they risk their lives to give us birth, so maybe it’s time we let a woman lead us,” said Larry Hawkins, a former truck driver...

Huh.  I wouldn't have thought it possible to be condescending toward women and pro-feminist in the same sentence.

It's kind of like watching a chimp realize that nothing happens if it presses the blue or the red buttons but if it presses the yellow button, bananas drop from the ceiling, isn't it?

Maybe this is the definition of 'coversative feminism'?

The Two Best Lines I've Had Recently

We've all had different experiences at work. But for those of you who have experience with big business, these stories are for you.

...

I was talking to an engineer who was troubleshooting a new software package. Lou looked up from his monitor and told me that he'd already fixed all of the bugs that he'd found. I smiled and said "That's great!"

I continued, "Unfortunately, it's not the bears that I can see that worry me - it's the bears I can't."

...

A few days later, I stopped by to talk to one of our mechanics who was bolting some angle iron to the floor as a backstop for forklift parking. He suggested painting the angle iron yellow so that the technicians would see it.

I nodded thoughtfully and said "That makes sense. Let's do it anyway."

Talk About the In-laws from Hell!

From National Geographic, an article on the European Bee-Eater:

"Parents butt into their son's business, begging for the courtship treat or barging in between the mated pair. If that didn't work, a parent might block the entrance to the son's burrow, preventing the female from entering to lay her eggs. After a while some sons succumbed to the pressure, abandoning their own breeding efforts..."

And you thought your in-laws were bad!

Please, Check Your Priorities at the Door

Taken from the "Letters" section of the October issue of National Geographic:

It has always troubled me how little, if any, attention is given to the possibility that Stonehenge might be a sports complex...Could Stonehenge be the site of a prehistoric World Series and the dozens of other prehistoric stone circles the arenas of locals teams in a prehistoric bush league? P.O. Abbott, Pueblo Colorado

Ok, so who the hell is 'troubled' by the possibility that the sporting capabilities of a neolithic circle of rocks has been overlooked by the modern archaeological community? Either a) P.O. Abbott is speaking with a little too much hyperbole, or b) Mr. Abbott really needs to evaluate what he considers important.

Or he's bat-shit nuts.