Kent Press Conference Shocker: Superman Arrested!

Metropolis, Aug 25 - Superhero Clark Kent, also known as Superman, was arrested yesterday as he touched down behind a podium at the Grand Hotel. Mr. Kent was scheduled to appear at a press conference called following allegations that a former senior member of the State Department, Richard Armitage, leaked his identity to the press.

The arrest was shocking and sudden. As Clark Kent was poised to begin reading from a prepared statement, a loud commotion erupted from offstage. As Mr. Kent attempted to speak, four agents of the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) bureau appeared onstage. According to eyewitnesses, the superhero appeared "extremely suprised" as a masked agent slipped a pair of glowing green handcuffs around his wrists.

Later, the Department of Homeland Security spokesman Morgan Edge stated that, "Today representatives of the US Government took a foreign national into custody. Superman is an illegal alien who has made no attempt become a US citizen. He is a dangerous fugitive of uncertain goals and motivations, and a potential terrorist."

When asked whether Superman would be deported, Mr. Edge replied that "all options are on the table". An administration official today said that Superman might be chained to an Atlas rocket and "sent back to Krypton".