Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Contrary to popular belief, journalists are human.

I know, I know!

But, in fact they are as vulnerable, if not more so, to the vagaries of repression and political correctness as the rest of us. Take their headlines, for example. Generally they're so truncated as to be a bare summary, a breathless description of the article underneath.

Occasionally, however, the journalists try to say what they really mean, and today I have divined the authors' true intentions by selectively editing their word choices. Please note, these are not the actual headlines; they are the phrases as actually intended.

• From NPR, "Cheney Found to Have Heartbeat"
• From NYT, "Hamas Urges Taking Israel"
• From Slashdot, "New Super Body - In Under a Minute"
• From Foxnews.com, "Inconvenient Gore Accepts WH Invite"
• From MSNBC News, "Bush Clouts Mideast Peace"

Play It Again, Sam

Is it me, or does John Coltrane sound better every time you hear him?

And I'm Sure that France Is Complaining About Cheap American Goods Flooding the Market

So I got back home to see the family. I had a chance to speak with a cousin of mine, who works in a foundry. Considering the economy, I was afraid that he'd been laid off but Billy surprised me by saying that they're busier than ever.

Why? It's simple.

"The dollar is lower in Europe, so everything we make is being shipped overseas."

I hope that all you American-made protectionists out there take note of that. The only thing keeping America from a full-blown recession right now is our vibrant export market, which is only possible because of NAFTA, GATT and all of those bilateral trade agreements that have been demonized in the past ten years.

But don't take my word for it. Check out this NYT article.

In the first half of the year, profits earned at home by American companies grew not at all compared with a year earlier, according to an analysis by Moody’s Economy.com. But profits abroad soared by 22 percent.

Isn't this how globalization is supposed to work?