Syberia Walkthrough: Chick Games

Ok, so I bought this game 'Syberia' over the weekend. It's a puzzle/adventure game in the Myst vein, except that I'm beginning to think it's pitched toward women.

Why, do you ask?

It's not the heroine is female; I'm ok with that. I'll admit that I started to wonder when she started getting phone calls from her nagging mother and and oblivious, self-centered idiot boyfriend.

But I was ok with that.

It didn't even bother me when my alter-ego Kate was too weak to spin a lever and needed the help of a 12-year old boy.

No, I was ok with that.

I started to get insulted when 'Kate' refused to grab and oar because it was too 'icky'. Now, I'm no ardent woman's libber but I don't see how empowerment is encapsulated by a young executive being revolted by moss.

I guess I'm not ok with games that pander to anyone, especially games that pander to stereotypes. Faugh!

Lord Help Me!

I was fixing dinner tonight when I heard an ad for a television news story.

"There are millions of americans with eating disorders. Find out how one little device can teach them how to eat normally."

May heaven forgive me. The first thing I thought of was 'a joint'.

The Immigration Debate: Wide Awake Jordan

WIDE AWAKE JORDAN.

By Wm. C. Marion.

Oh! the wide awakes and white hats, am getting all the go,
And the wide awakes will wear them according,
In spite of all the micks, you can raise to fight with sticks,
For they'll drive them to the other side of jordan.

Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel,
Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel, I believe.

No popery--that's a go, and the wide awakes will show
That they can sing it out according,
If you want your head broke, just hurrah for the pope,
And they'll knock you to the other side of jordan.

Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel,
Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel, I believe.

Oh! the mickeys of New Orleans, thought to carry the day, a feet,
But the greatest news they ever heard on,
Was, that their candidates were beat, by the know-nothings
For they voted them the other side of jordan.

Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel,
Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel, I believe.

Street preaching am the fashion, it am getting all the go,
And the wide awakes attend there according,
So if your fond of black eyes, tell the preacher that he lies,
And they'll kick you to the other side of jordan.

Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel,
Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel, I believe.

Our election is coming, and the Irish are a drumming
Up all the voters that they can depend on,
So perhaps we'll have to fight, for we'll stick to our right,
And we will challenge them to the other side of jordan.

Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel,
Then I took off my coat, and I roll up my sleeve,
Over jordan is a hard road to travel, I believe.

* * *

Apparently racism doesn't die.

The song above is an american classic. It was written in the 19th century by an anti-Irish immigrant Know-Nothing. They feared low wage competition and popish influence on american politics.

And we all know how that turned out.

* * *

Are We Expected to Take Dick Cheney Seriously?

Dick Cheney: a man who asked for the legal authorization to torture people.

Nursultan Nazarbayev: the Kazakhstan president who cancelled democratic elections back in '98. He also stole a December election last year.

The scene: a news conference in the capital city of Kazahkstan, Astana where two prominent opposition leaders were recently murdered in suspicious circumstances.

The message: Buddies Dick & Nursultan claim that Vladimir Putin is cracking down on democratic & human rights and using Gazprom (a quasi-governmental Russian oil company) as an extension of its foreign policy. Apparently this is bad.

The real message: 'Hypocrisy'? Isn't that some kind of hot stone massage?

The Sense of Smell: Up Close and Personal

The sense of smell is a very personal experience, much more so than sight or hearing certainly. What do I mean? Take the following examples:

Hey Frank, that's a nice shirt! You look good today. See? That's fairly non-threatening, especially from a woman but even from another guy. How about this:

Hey Frank - well said! You voice sounds great! Again, non-threatening, if a little more unusual. But take this example:

Hey Frank, I couldn't help but noticing that you smell really nice today. Now that might be a little too much even from a woman. Frank doesn't have his personal space - in this example, Jimbo is standing a little too close. But how about this one:

Hey Frank, how do you do it? Your hands are always so soft and smooth! Now that's a way to make a guy frantically recover his paw and vigorously rub it against his Levis.

I'd throw out some examples on the sense of taste, but this site has a little class thank you very much (and don't mention the 'Naked Boobies' post).

Intelligent Design

Intelligent Design as a theory has been attacked, attacked, for being a stalking horse for certain fundamentalist strains of Christianity since it was published.

I'd like to set the record straight here. In reality, ID doesn't posit who the Designer was and so the linking of that theory with Christianity is misplaced. There are many adherents to Intelligent Design that range across the political and religious spectrum.

To give you an idea of the 'big tent' nature of ID, I offer the following list of groups whose theories are fully compatible with Intelligent Design:

1. The Raelians
2. The Aetherius Society
3. Scientology
4. Aum Shinrikyo
5. The guy on the corner who claims that the Federal Government stole his brain

And the list goes on! Now, as you can see, Intelligent Design embraces a wide diversity of religious truth. It doesn't matter whether the Designer is God, angels, the people of ancient Atlantis or just plain old aliens like Mork from Ork (nanu nanu Grand Master!), Intelligent Design can support them all.

So please, don't be a narrow-minded intolerant cretin. Even though some groups like the Catholic Church and the National Academy of Science have come out against ID, you can choose to be more open-minded.

For All the Hate In India

The Subcontinent has a lot of problems. Rebel movements. Poverty, famine and disease. And extremely fractious relations with its neighbor to the northwest, Pakistan. Despite all of the tension and mistrust if you ask an Indian or Pakistani, however, they'll agree privately on three things:

1. Seen from a distance, one billion little brown men look pretty much the same.
2. Anyone who tells you their mouth doesn't water at a beef'n'pork barbeque is lying.
3. Gurkhas - they so crazy!

At least there's something they can agree on.