Is This What Passes for a Love Song Nowadays?

"Bedroom Talk", by The Starting Line

I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married
And you're all mine now
Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all our lives
Or maybe for just tonight

Marvin Gaye it ain't.

If NORAD Tracks Santa, Did This Website Cost 20 Billion Dollars?

From those nice folks at the DOD...err Google I think.

NORAD tracks Santa.

The Best Commercial - EVER

Ride of the Valkyries - nice.

Oh, this is extremely NSFW.  I wouldn't watch it while your wife is around, either.

Link:

I Guess You Have to Go Where The Customers Are

The following is part of an ad for a new whiskey called "The Knot".  Let's play "Which One of These Things Is Not Like The Other":

Since the Knot is imported by a New York company (straight from those kind folks in Ireland), I imagine that they're currently selling only within their own distribution network.  And Wisconsin.

I'm not sure what that says about the state of Wisconsin, but it's got to mean something.

By the way, it's a damn good whiskey, if you happen to like damn good whiskeys.

Do You Suffer From Autonomous Brain Disorder?

Do you ever...

• intend to innocently greet your child's attractive new schoolteacher and end up with a lawsuit?
  
• walk into your kitchen to do the dishes and end up making lasagna?
• find yourself buying a 'work at home' kit from a 'reputable online dealer'?
• suffer from spells, fits, tremors, lackadaisicalness or the vapors?

If so, you may have Autonomous Brain Disorder (ABD).  Your brain is making decisions while your mind wanders. You're not alone: studies sponsored by the NOW Institute for Retributive Medicine indicate that over 95% of straight men have this condition.

But there is hope.  Never fear - your days of lurking in dark corners with your hands clapped over your mouth are over!  Doctor Synthia Starke of Berkeley has developed a pioneering new treatment that offers hope for the billions afflicted with this diease.  Clinical trials are open currently!

Is It Me?

Is it me, or does any else think Richardson should have State and Hillary, Commerce?

Is That A Liver Spot?

I'm closing in on 30...
I've grown a beard...
My hairline is a little further north than I remember...
I've been having this nagging problem with my right shoulder...

Somebody, get me a goddamn wheelchair!

Isn't That An Oxymoron?

From BBC.com:

"New Stone Age Artefacts Unearthed"

. . .

Erruh?

The Unkindest Cut of All

So I'm growing a beard and I'm getting the (expected) ribbing at work.  For the most part it doesn't bother me.  Ask me what the heck is on by face or if I forgot my razor and I'm ok.  Ask me if I've got some tree moss, or if I need to get a cat (don't ask-I still don't get that one myself) and it rolls right off my back.

The only one that really gets to me is the person who says "Look at that little beard you got going on there. How cute!"

That one, I'll admit, stings.

Why You Want to Play Nintendogs and Lemmings

Elijah Commings Is No Chump

If all congressional hearings were this interesting, I'd watch CSpan more often!

My New Blog - A Local Food Directory

A few months ago, I read a book called The Omnivore's Dilemma and I've since gotten very interested in the local food movement.  Family farmers, often organic, local foods.

In fact, I got so motivated, I decided to look for local farmers and growers in the area - and was surprised by what I found.  I decided to start a blog featuring local farmers and area farmer's markets.

Looking for local and/or organic foods in the Rock River Valley (Winnebago and Rock Counties)? Check out my newest blog: Local Food in Northern Illinois.

Now Where Did I Put That Hammer?

From FOXNews.com: 

A spacewalking astronaut accidentally let go of her tool bag Tuesday after a grease gun inside it exploded, and helplessly watched as the tote and everything inside floated away.

I've got to empathize with the astronaut, a lady with the improbably long name of Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper.  I suspect that she's not being totally honest with the story, however; according to her press conference, her response was a mumbled "Oh, great".

At least, I probably would have conveyed my frustration differently.

Later in the spacewalk, a screwdriver floated by in full view of the entire team.

Thoughts on Boston

Or, perhaps more appropriately "Thawts on Bawston":

• Everyone here seems thinner than folks back home. Personally, I think the fact that walking is much easier than driving in the city encourages folks to get more exercise.
• I'm not sure if coffee shops outnumber bank branches but it's damn close either way. Then again, I am in Boston's finanical district.
• There is nothing like getting pleasantly drunk in an Irish pub, and there can't be much closer to a real Irish pub than the Black Rose downtown.
• I find that I most enjoy exploring a city during the early morning hours, when it's just you, the drunks, joggers and bums. And the occasional drunk, jogging bum.

Who The Hell Assumes "Tibor" Is A Woman's Name?

A multinational advertising company conducted a 'team-building' offsite with executives from regional subsidiaries around the globe. However, upon arriving at the designated hotel in Ontario several female Japanese employees discovered that they were scheduled to share rooms with male German representatives.

Apparently the planners, who (surprise!) were American mistakenly thought that names like "Jens" and "Tibor" were women's names.

Tibor?

I mean, seriously, Tibor?

(Tibor)

George Carlin on Presidential Politics: Watch Out Barack!

Well.  So I was a Barack supporter and I'm happy that he won.

However.  I do have some concerns.

The immortal words of George Carlin:

"You're going to have one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much! You'll enjoy yourselves; it'll be a lot of fun. I'm sure that as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately." [emphasis mine]

Just have patience people! 

Definition of the Day: Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance (psych): an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously, for example: when you're listening to NPR and Metallica's Master of Puppets starts playing.

I happened to be looking across the highway and I'm pretty sure that about 1 in 20 cars swerved slightly as their drivers **winced**

Yes, But I'm SAVING 30%!

Check out this article from the New York Times. Apparently now that the global economy is melting down, a six-figure fashion spree like Palin's is considered...gauche.

Nope, now the word of the day is 'recessionista':  someone who splurges ... less ... on fashionable clothing and accessories.

Style.com described the recessinista as "a plucky heroine able to fixate on designer logos even at a time when her house might face foreclosure". [Emphasis mine.]

Sorry honey: I don't care how stylish you are, sleeping in an Accord ain't glamorous.

Why, back in my day we didn't have all this 'gangs and guns' nonsense!  We didn't have drive-by shootings; we had drive by masses!

And we still had to walk uphill in the snow - both ways.  Harrrumph.

Thanks National Geographic.

Seriously, I Just Read It For The Articles

Ok, so I had a doctor's appointment today (nothing major; annual checkup). And as I'm on the road, I mentally put together a blog post about whether a waiting room with decent magazines (such as National Geographic, The Economist and Atlantic Monthly) existed.

Then I get there and find copies of National Geographic, Fortune and US News & World Report sitting on a side table.  

What's worse is that I ended up picking up a copy of Better Homes and Gardens because I'm thinking of putting in a copper backsplash in my kitchen.

*splack*

That's the sound of someone smacking their forehead with the palm of their hand.