Take the Challenge!

Find a meadow, preferably one that's at least an acre in size. Not sure where to find one? Idle housing projects are a good place to look.

Look for something like this:













Once you've found your meadow, stand on the downwind edge. Take out the Ipod earbuds. Listen. Take a few deep breaths.

Next, find yourself a really big lawn. Completed housing projects are a good place to look. Stand on the downwind edge of your chosen lawn and repeat.

You tell me which spread is beautiful and alive, and which one is sterile monoculture.

Would You Pair Red or White With That?

When I was growing up, I remember seeing ads for my favorite jackals, Habush, Habush and Davis.

Later, the advertisements were for Habush, Habush, Davis and Rottier.

Later yet, the spots simply named Habush, Habush and Rottier - and so it stands today.

...

So, what happened to Davis?

Personally, I think Rottier ate him.

What are the Odds?

First, what are the odds of any single person being featured on an episode of Maury Povich?

On the other hand, given that a person was named after Maury Povich (hi Kamaury), what are the odds that their home life would lead them to be featured on an episode of Maury Povich?

At a certain point, some things become inevitable.

Quote of the Week

"I don't get it! Half the damn midwest is underwater and people won't stop buying Doritos."

Did Mario and Luigi Work for Scale?

In the Japanese version of Midway, do you shoot down countless hordes of American fighter planes?

If Supermariokart were to be made today, would there be an airbag requirement?

If Ubisoft released Prince of Persia today, would it violate the Patriot Act?

Madden '94: would we have stopped it back then?

Is Grand Theft Auto any worse than Death Race?

Did George W Bush played too much Axis & Allies back in college? Me, I think he was more of a Risk fan.

It's Official: Americans Make No Sense

According to a recent Pew Survey (courtesy of NYTimes), Americans apparently believe in everything.

"The new report sheds light on the beliefs of the unaffiliated. Like the overwhelming majority of Americans, 70 percent of the unaffiliated said they believed in God, including one of every five people who identified themselves as atheist and more than half of those who identified as agnostic.

American beliefs:

• The Gulf War wasn't about oil,
  
• No Child Left Behind is really about the children,
• We can protect the environment without raising taxes or altering our lifestyle,
  
• and 20% of atheists believe in God.

No wonder the rest of the world thinks we're nuts.

Ah those hallowed tunes of yore!

What Would God Make If He Were a 13 Year Old Boy?

Spore is a game being developed by the folks who brought us Sim City. In the game, you build a civilization from the bottom up - literally. From unicellular beginnings in a world sea, the gamer creates life that can eventually spread across the universe. It can even meet other intelligent life.

That's the interesting part. You really do 'design' the organisms under your command. Each copy of the game will anonymously send your creatures to a database located on the internet, which will then populate other games. Similarly, the creatures created by other gamers will eventually feed into your game.

Which, of course, brings me to my main question: if a 13 year old boy were endowed with the ability to make creatures in whatever image he desired, what form would they take? Since, to my knowledge, you can't design a 'gun creature', there is only one possibility. Namely,



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Note, this may be NSFW..



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Well, I'd heard that the military had lowered their standards...

Ok. Is this some clever play on words that I'm simply too dense to see or has the Air Force confused 'site' with 'sight'?

I think I'd hire a Private Dectective

From a Fox News story about a pair of brutal murders:

An official investigating the double murder of two young girls in Oklahoma said
Tuesday the "shooter wanted these girls dead"

Our 'official' Stan Florence works for the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation. With analytical chops like this, I'm sure the FBI will shortly be beating a path to his door.

But wait - Stan the Man isn't done:

"There's obviously an issue here where the shooter wanted these girls dead and certainly carried that to its fullest extent"

Huh. Well, I'm glad they ruled out the possibility that the brutal double killing was accidental.

Now That's What I Call a Trojan Horse!

Baffling non sequiter or sneaky viral marketing campaign?

You make the call!

Are We Go For Launch?

Hey - weren't we going to Mars, or something?

You Might Be a Freegan If...

10. You boast about the amazing set of candlesticks that somebody just threw away.
9. You do most of your grocery shopping behind Safeway.
8. Your living room is furnished with items originally tagged 'free - haul away at own expense'.
7. When you offer to bring a dish to pass, friends and relatives tell you hastily "no, no - just yourself is fine".
6. You surreptitiously sort your neighbors' garbage into 'recycle', 'non-recycle', and 'Christmas presents'.
5. You claim that hand-knit socks are really the way to go.
4. Hot water is only for special occasions.
3. Your definition of "living" is cracking open a slightly used 11-pack of Sam's Club soda.
2. Car? What stinking car? You gots the bus, man!
1. "Extreme consumerism" is a contact sport.

...

And please, don't think I'm making this up. See here, and here. Is anyone surprised that this movement started in San Francisco?

Public Construction - Done Right

From A History of the World in 6 Glasses:

"The workers who built the pyramids were paid in beer, according to records found at a nearby town where the construction workers at and slept. The records indicate that at the time of the pyramids' construction, around 2500 BCE , the standard ration for a laborer was three or four loaves of bread and two jugs containing about eight pints of beer..."

Ok. 4,500 years ago state workers created stone monuments that have lasted for the ages. And according to the historical records, they were drunken state workers at that.

Am I missing something here? How is it that the pharaohs were better at public works than we are?

What Would You Do If You Found a Woman Living In Your Closet

Yes. Living in your closet.

Where? Where else: Japan.

"Officers rushed to the house and found a 58-year-old unemployed woman hiding in an unused closet, where she had secreted a mattress and plastic drink bottles"

Well color me wtf???

Inflation Relief at Hand!

According to recent US government figures, inflation was only .2% in the month of April, and 'non-core' inflation (inflation minus those pesky food and energy bills) rose only .1% . Of course, food jumped a large .9%, which is the largest jump in 18 years.

According to a senior economist, “This is a fine inflation report if you don’t need to eat, drive or depend on your paycheck”.

Well, that's a relief. No need to worry folks, nothing to see here.

Have You Seen That New Romantic Comedy, "The Shining"?

It sure looks great!

Real Players Do It Passively

Check out PMOG (Passive Multiplayer Online Game).

Recipe:
-a dash of roleplaying
-a pinch of whimsy
-a touch of free time
-a lot of fun!

It's a game that you can play whenever you're online, regardless of what you're doing.

How does it work? By surfing the web, that's how!

You have to rack up points to buy mines and all the other stuff that makes the site fun. Every unique domain that you visit gives you two points, so you get points just from surfing the web. You can also give gifts of mines and other tools to others by leaving “crates” around...

Gathering points and completing missions leads you to higher levels, where you eventually choose a character type. There are six characters in all - two are “chaotic” and leave a lot of mines and portals. The rest follow the “torch of order” and focus on protecting others or creating useful missions.

One note - you do need to use the Firefox web browser (another great reason to switch).

Maybe It Would Be Quicker to List Things OLDER Than John McCain?

Visit www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com.

What are some things younger than John McCain?

• Alaska (as a state)
• The Polio Vaccine
• AARP
• Israel
• Spam

Yes, that's right. John McCain predates spam. It's actually a lot of fun, when you start playing!

Bob, Is That Your Hip Or Are You Happy To See Me?

Good Lord. According to an nytimes article, a new style of ceramic hip that came into vogue after 2003 is prone to squeaking.

How bad is it?

“It can interrupt sex when my wife starts laughing,” said one man, who discussed the matter on the condition that he not be named.

That's pretty bad.


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